Virgin Records

December 8, 2010

Far, far away, in a galaxy long ago, long before Jarvis Cocker and his friends were reminising about their first time…

Ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out!

This is the story of out first teacher,” crooned those Caledonian Casanovas The Proclaimers. “Shetland made her jumpers and the devil made her features.” This Is The Story was The Proclaimers first album, released way back in 1987 and taken from it, the solidly swinging Over And Done With was a broad Scots’ celebration of all things conjugal, backed by an Iggy Pop Passenger riff and rough-roon-the-edges Everly Brothers 2-part harmonies.

This is the story of losing my virginity.

I held my breath and the bed held a trinity.

People I’m making no claims to no mystery,

but sometimes it feels like my sex life’s all history.

It’s over and done with, it’s over and done with….

For this particular pair of Celtic balladeers who were more geek than chic, it really was over and done with, in every sense of the phrase. I saw The Proclaimers around the time of their first album when they sauntered onto the stage at the Motherwell Music Festival as support to Deacon Blue; no dry ice, no fanfares, no strobes, just the pair of them, one with guitar, the other with an orange Adidas kit bag from where he produced an assortment of bongo drums, tambourines and other things that made a primary school racket when beaten, bashed and bumped. They were quite terrific if I remember, far superior to the headliners who took it all far too seriously, and despite them being the brunt of a million jokes, with a gazillion+ sales of 500 Miles they’re having the last laugh. They’ve probably moved onto a nicer class of teacher too.

The Proclaimers may have got it over and done with with the help of an anonymous eager Shetlander, but De La Soul were a bit more open about things on ‘88’s Jenifa (Taught Me). Built almost entirely from samples using the finest cut ‘n paste methods for the time, Jenifa is funkier than a mosquito’s tweeter, it kicks like a mule (thanks to the Steve Miller Band’s skitteryTake the Money And Run drum break) and, no beating about the bush, gets straight to the point.

“The downstairs, where we met
I brought records, she cassettes
Lost the break, found her shape
Jenifa, oh Jenny

Transcripts showed more than flirt
’I love daisies’ read her shirt
Grabbed my jeans, Jimmy screamed
Jenifa, oh Jenny

Shaped like a vase
No one can live their life for Pos
Found a house, aroused my joust
Jenifa, oh Jenny

Her clothes, I did shuck
Just like Dan I strictly stuck
To the punt, she cried ’kick it’
Posdnuos was in”

And on and on it goes, samples of Maggie Thrett’s fantastically funkySoupyand Lynn CollinsThinktumbling in and out of the mix as the 3 De La’s take turns on the mic. You’ll like it. If you’re familiar with the 3 Feet High and Rising album version, make way for the rowdier original 12” mix.

Yowsa! Thrett. No threat.

One comment

  1. Would never thought of pairing those two tracks. Great tracks too.

    Now if you could just work Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow in there, the best losing your virginity song of all time I think…

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