I’m backstage after a Johnny Marr book event a couple of Novembers ago. There’s a strict ‘Johnny will be meeting no fans tonight’ policy in place, but I have written a book I’d like to present to Johnny, and thanks to some impressive string pulling from the host Vic Galloway, I find myself waiting side stage at the end of the show, sat there until being summoned by the gods to meet Johnny. There are three other people near by. One I know. It’s the radio presenter Billy Sloan. I interviewed him for the very book I’m hoping to get to Johnny, so we are on chatting terms. He’s also booked for a gig I’m involved in a month or so later, so, yeah, I kinda know him. He too has a book for Johnny and we sit waiting like two wee boys about to show the headteacher our good work.
An assistant appears. “Right, Craig. You can come through. And BBC guy, you can come too.”
As I step forward, Billy masterfully slips in front of me. “This is my son, he’s with me.” Billy points to one of the other two folk and they step through the barrier with him, me now third in line. I’m suddenly being pushed rudely and roughly by the random fourth guy behind me, ushering me into the backstage area before anyone can stop him.
“Billy Sloan!” I hear, the unmistakable friendly voice of St Johnny of Marr coming from round the corner. “I haven’t seen you since Rio! How are you doin’?!”
“Craig McAllister!” I hear, the unmistakable radio-friendly voice of Vic Galloway coming from the same place. “I haven’t seen you since Strathaven! How are you doin’?”
The guy behind me leans in and speaks in my ear.
“Are you guys famous or somethin’?” he asks in that nasally, neddy voice you hear all over Glasgow. “Gonnae let me go first…when they find oot ahm no’ famous, they’ll kick me tae fuck.”
Just wait your turn pal, I think, as Vic steers me into a wee room, Johnny and Billy and his son flicking eagerly through Billy’s new book at the side.
And then, eventually.
“Hey! It’s Craig from the Ballroom Blitz!” (Years previously, at the Grand Hall in Kilmarnock, I’d told Johnny that the scene of his show that night was the inspiration behind the glam rock anthem, something that quite clearly had stuck with the nicest man in pop.) “D’you still have that Telecaster I signed?” (of course, duh-uh) “That was a great show in Kilmarnock…one of my favourites…etc etc...”
As I left, Billy already departed, the random stranger was manipulating the ‘Stage This Way’ notice off the wall and presenting it to Johnny to sign. I’d love love love to have seen his social media posts the next day. God knows what he told his pals.
Anyway.
Saturday night there saw the last broadcast of The Billy Sloan Show on BBC Radio Scotland. After 11 years in the same slot (and many more elsewhere (45 in total, I think)) Billy is off the airwaves, unceremoniously shunted aside to make way for a new show where the emphasis will very much be on playlisted commercial music, the station’s new and strictly unsentimental controller keeping at least one twitchy eye on the RAJAR figures.
Were BBC Scotland a commercial station this could almost – almost – be understood, but the fact remains that BBC Scotland is OUR station and as such should be required – and proud, no? – to programme a broad spectrum of music that caters for all. Want commercial pop music? Just turn that dial, make your music sterile (to paraphrase Jimi Hendrix). Perhaps this new controller simply hasn’t yet been schooled in the BBC’s Reithian principles to inform, educate and entertain. Whatever the reason, it’s a disaster on many levels.
No one listens to late-night radio anyway…unless you’re specifically tuning in to a particular show. There will be people reading this who regularly tune in to Billy’s show and, dare I say, Riley and Coe on BBC 6 Music, nodding their educated and clever heads in agreement here. If by doing this BBC Radio Scotland hopes to attract a younger audience, good luck to ’em. It’s all podcasts and on demand and listen again these days, mate, if they’re even interested in the first place. The radio is a familiar friend for a demographic who have aged accordingly, but the young folk you so court consume their music in vastly different ways to us old bores, and dismantling your late-night schedule for the modern equivalent of light entertainment ain’t gonna fill that hole.
That the BBC has axed Billy’s show (and at the same time the Roddy Hart Show and the Iain Anderson folk show and Natasha Raskin-Sharp’s eclectic blues/world/and so much more show – the bulk of the station’s specialist music programming, as it goes) is late-night radio cultural rape and pillage on a scale not seen since the Vikings thundered their way to Valhalla.
Billy in particular has been responsible for introducing so many important artists to the Scottish public. From his beloved Simple Minds and U2, to Lloyd Cole, the Trashcan Sinatras and the Blue Nile, by way of the big hitters of the post-punk generation (Billy has a real fondness for Magazine and anything involving John McGeoch) and superstars of every era, Billy has played, interviewed and exclusively revealed them all.
In the past, his was the show where new bands sent their demo tapes. Often they’d pop up between a Bowie and an Alex Harvey track, hissy and tinny, knock-kneed and pretty green, but there all the same, coasting on the airwaves and playing in the nation’s ears. His was the show where these new bands might even be offered a session, a chance to record three or four songs professionally, to maybe have a live on-air chat with the always-interested presenter, to have real audience exposure and a chance to gain some new fans and grow a following. That sort of stuff is invaluable to anyone who’s ever bashed out a tune with enthusiastic hopefulness.
Commercial radio just doesn’t do this. Ken McCluskey of The Bluebells was quoted yesterday as saying Young At Heart will be played forever, but after Billy, no one will play their new songs. Imagine being an artist yet to write a Young At Heart and trying to get yourself heard. The axing of Billy’s shows – and all those others – has deprived forever a whole demographic of keen and urgent bands looking to cultivate a fanbase.
Billy’s last show was, as ever, a terrific listen, but with a subtly poignant playlist that hinted at more than he maybe could say. Was opening with Station To Station a coded way of telling us another station has already cleared the schedules for him? Or was he snarkily opening with a marathon Bowie track simply because it’s the antithesis of playlisted pop music? Either way, chapeau. Later on, there was U2’s Running To Standstill followed by The Clash’s Complete Control, and then the ultimate fuck you of playing the Velvets’ eight and a half minutes’-long live version of What Goes On. At the end, you might’ve expected a Simple Minds track, but no, Billy signed off with Sinead O’Connor’s The Last Day Of Our Acquaintance, its kiss-off refrain a clear reference to the powers above who allowed and encouraged this to happen:
This is the last day of our acquaintance
I will meet you later in somebody’s office
I’ll talk but you won’t listen to me
And I know your answer already
Shame on you, BBC Radio Scotland.
Let’s hope the airwaves ring once again – and soon – with the exclusive revelations of Scotland’s most-loved radio host.
You can listen (again) (on demand) to Billy’s final show here.
Plain Or Pan 