I don’t quite know how I feel about this. It’d be interesting to hear your thoughts and opinions. The creative in me says it’s the worst thing ever; anodyne and beige, a wee bit dead behind the eyes. The luddite in me goes wow! How on earth is this even possible?!
My pal Supersonic Mark works in marketing – Supersonic Marketing – and is deeply involved in the world of podcasting. He chats all things food and drink to all sorts of interesting people – Roger Daltrey, Fatboy Slim and, this week, Michel Roux – and his podcasts regularly make the lists of the best things to listen to that week. He’s long said I should do a podcast version of Plain Or Pan, but, y’know… time, desirability, the fact that I definitely don’t sound like Richard Burton whenever I bark the nonsense that passes for pop trivia from my gub. I’ve been on the radio. I’ve guested on other people’s podcasts. I know exactly how unpodcast-like I sound. Clearly, these are all good enough reasons to maintain the typing over talking approach that has served this place well for 17 and a half years.
Recently, Mark was shown how a fairly basic version of AI can turn text into spoken word, and he trialled the approach on one of my blog posts. I woke up last week to a version of the Crowded House post I’d written, presented as a podcast between two chummy American chat show hosts. It was, frankly, mindblowing in the way it’d taken my original post, summed up the gist of it and spat it back at me as a two-way conversation in third person. By the time I’d arrived at work, I’d listened to it half a dozen times, my mind racing with the good, the bad and the ugly of it all. Would this replace the blog as I currently present it? Would it write long-winded pieces on old music for me? Could I monetise it?
Plain Or Pan – AI version of the Crowded House post.

Weird, eh?
Interesting? Annoying? The future of everthing or just plain wrong?
The things I like about it: it’s novel, it’s quirky and it’s a nice, concise, five minute snapshot of my 1000+ words.
The things I don’t like about it: The voices. I’m sure that can be changed. I’d rather have Scarlett Johansson read my words to you (and me), thanks very much. And it presents some of my opinion (the Paul Weller section, for example) as fact. For anyone listening who hasn’t read the article first, they’d leave being mis-informed.
Overall though, I kinda like it, I think, but in answer to those three questions from earlier:
No, it won’t replace Plain Or Pan in its current form. I might follow-up future blog posts with the odd ‘podcast’ though, if I can convince an AI Scarlett Johansson to take the mic.
I could never use it to do the writing for me. That’s the bit I enjoy. I like to think I have a style that no amount of fancy pants AI could recreate. I’m probably wrong about that though.
Can I monetise it? I’m an artist, baby. Money is so crass.
What d’you think of it all?
yeah, nah! Horrible. I’d much prefer to hear you discussing it with a mate tbh, if I’m not reading the written word.
Yeah, thanks!
find the nerve to do it yourself.. you’ve a good Scot’s tongue in yer heed.. do a few dry runs first.. or… get yon AI to do an Ayrshire accent .. aw the slang etc.
It’s all down to time, John. And nerves.
I see you’re in Ohio. You must listen to Ohio Heat by Super Furry Animals. I think you’d like it.
time & nerves are two tricksters.. gie them deefies.
Yes Mr. ‘Callister, your gub, or no gub at all 😶
Blimey that’s weird…not quite surre what to make of it….hate the voices…hate the ‘conversation’ style…but can see the possibilities if it was your voice and less conversational…a verbal version of your blog yes….mindblowing stuff though
It’s nuts, isn’t it!
Think you’ve summed it up perfectly in the first paragraph. Yeah, initially, I’m thinking “urgh, how can this replace proper old fashioned written articles?” (in Plain or Pan’s case, WELL written articles) but then …….. “it’s the future, Gerry, I’ve tasted it!”
Don’t think it’s a case of one or the other – both can be done. Continue with your (usually) great Plain or Pan written articles but use the AI as an enhancement/companion hingmy.
The 3 questions – It defo can’t replace Plain or Pan
– Cherry pick certain blog posts (choose different voices)
– You’ll never make £$ from a podcast
Whoa. That is OUT THERE! Bizarre, disconcerting, oddly impressive on the one hand but scary in a rise-of-the-robots way on the other hand.The American voices MELT MY HEAD (a colloquial Dublin expression for, basically, that’s sheeeeeeite). Overall my condensed thoughts on A.I. are… If there’s one thing this world doesn’t need, it’s for things to be even more airbrushed, even more corporate, even more devoid of Yr Actual Human Warmth, in other words, even more sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeite. But that’s clearly where we’re headed, whether we like it or not, because that’s what the corporate overlords deem to be “progress”.Modern Life Is Rubbish. ‘Nuff said. X
I’d listen to your authentic voice, but not that. Sorry mate.
Haha!