The Don Chorus

It would appear that ol’ Don Van Vliet, Captain Beefheart himself shuffled off this mortal coil tonight and has gone onto the next life where he will undoubtedly entertain, confound and enlighten those who are willing and able to tune into whatever frequency he broadcasts from beyond the grave.

Uncompromising, difficult and a right proper tuneless racket – that’s how I’d describe much of what I’ve heard of Captain Beefheart & the Magic Band’s work. And anyone who tells you anything else has at least a slight whiff of pretentiousness around him. Not her. Him. Definitely him. Captain Beefheart doesn’t really strike me as ladies music. Sorry, PJ Harvey and anyone else I’ve offended, but it’s true! I don’t claim to be a super-fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have a fond place in my record collection for the Clear Spot and Safe As Milk albums – 2 of his more accessible, bluesy and, yes, tuneful albums. As big a music fan as I am it’s almost embarassing of me to admit this, but I’ve never heard Trout Mask Replica, an album that always appears  (and now will always appear) on those 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die publications.  I first heard the Captain on a Melody Maker mail order CD round about 1990 – Beatle Bones & Smokin’ Stones failed at the time to live up to it’s way-out title. These days, with ears opened wider by all sorts of stuff I never knew about 20 years ago, it sounds pretty good, but it wasn’t until the Nuggets compilation and Diddy Wah Diddy that he made any real sense to these narrow-minded ears. Diddy Wah Diddy sounds fantastic – a growling bassline matched only by Beefheart’s growling vocal, carried along by a garage band stomp that David Bowie must’ve, must’ve played ad infinitum while he was writing Jean Genie. I only found out about 2 years ago that the Captain’s version was actually a fairly straight-ahead cover of an old Bo Diddley track, which, given that riff is perfectly obvious when you think about it. Bo Diddley’s version has better maracas on it, mind.

The young Jack White, careful scholar of all things authentic and retro, as well as being something of a thieving magpie of the blues was a keen admirer of Captain Beefheart, so much so that the nascent White Stripes recorded a 3 track ep of Beefheart covers. On Sub Pop, it’s rarer than a White Stripes bass player so if you can find anyone daft enough to want to sell you a copy, you’ll need seriously silly money if you want to get yer sweaty little mitts on it. But fear not. If you don’t have the money honey, that’s OK…

Part Of Special Things To Do

China Pig

Ashtray Heart

…and the mp3s come complete with original vinyl snaps, crackles and pops. Party Of Special Things To Do sounds exactly like the White Stripes doing Diddy Wah Diddy. The rest is lo-fi in the extreme; exactly the sort of retro tub-thumping blues that had John Peel all in a lather over Jack ‘n Meg way back when. Enjoy!

My favourite Captain Beefheart track? That would be Big-Eyed Beans From Venus from side 2 of Clear Spot. Mr Zoothorn Rollo plays a mean slide guitar riff. It used to be the ringtone on my phone dontchaknow. The later Beefheart/Magic Band stuff I’ve tried hard to like. I really have. Grow Fins. Ice Cream For Crow. But I just don’t get it. I always listen with the idea that, much like Tom Waits (‘though I love love love Tom Waits), Captain Beefheart is the aural equivalent of whisky – difficult to swallow, but once you’ve got the taste for it you’re keen to try out new blends. Maybe I need to try again. Perhaps even that unplayed copy of Trout Mask Replica will make it’s debut round here any day now. Better late to the party than never at all, eh?

By The Way..

In recent years, it was painting and not music that occupied all of Captain Beefheart’s time. But you knew that already. Below is the none-more Beefheartian Ten Thousand Pistols, No Bumblebees oil on canvas from 1995.

Slight Update

Captain Beefheart’s 10 Commandments of Guitar Playing are here. Random samples:

4. Walk with the devil
Old Delta blues players referred to guitar amplifiers as the “devil box.” And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you’re bringing over from the other side. Electricity attracts devils and demons. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.

8. Don’t wipe the sweat off your instrument
You need that stink on there. Then you have to get that stink onto your music.

Well worth 10 minutes of anyone’s time!