Reissue! Revalue! Repackage!

…in more ways than one. Morrissey, the Wilderness Years began in 1995 and lasted, some would say until 2004’s ‘You Are The Quarry’ album. He floated between labels, juggled his band line-up around and, possibly due to the fact he was whoring himself around Hollywood at the time, failed to capitalise on the jingoistic nature of BritPop and all that jazz. I actually think he’s still in the middle of a wilderness as I write, but who am I to say? I don’t go to his gigs these days; have you heard his band? Have you seen his band? 4 bouncers playing bad rock with about as much soul as a lump of wood. And I don’t buy the new stuff. That new single about someone squeezing his skull is, bluntly, shite. So why on earth he’s decided to re-release the 2 worst selling (if not actually just worst overall) albums in his catalogue at this precise moment in time is a mystery that not even Miss Marple could solve.

This alarming man

Except he’s not actually re-releasing them, he’s re-presenting them. Southpaw Grammar and Maladjusted have been fiddled about with. They’ve both been given new artwork. Both running orders have changed. Whole songs have disappeared (bye bye Maladjusted‘s lead-off stinker of a single ‘Roy’s Keen’), old b-sides and previously-binned tracks have taken their place (hello ‘Sorrow Will Come In The End’). Yes. Sorrow Will Come In The End. Yes? Yes, because it’s a belter.

‘Friend, do what you came for’

It starts like Nick Drake, all downbeat cello and string quartet. It continues with all the pathos of prime beehive-era Shangri-Las or Dusty Springfield. Whips crack. Flutes shrill. It goes into waltz time. Neil Tennant frantically starts scribbling in his Big Book Of Songwriting Tips. Why is it so good? Cos old sourpuss is singing about his court battle with Mike Joyce, where the amiable drummer won and claimed his share of the Euro Millions. It’s a stinging tale of hatred and revenge. But you knew that already. If you didn’t, you could work it out for yourself…

Here’s the words, every last stinging one of ’em…

Legalized theft
Leaves me bereft
I get it straight in the neck
(Somehow expecting no less)
A court of justice
With no use for Truth
Lawyer …liar
Lawyer …liar
You pleaded and squealed
And you think you’ve won
But Sorrow will come
To you in the end
And as sure as my words are pure
I praise the day that brings you pain
Q.C.’s obsessed with sleaze
Frantic for Fame
They’re all on the game
They just use a different name
You lied
And you were believed
By a J.P. senile and vile
You pleaded and squealed
And you think you’ve won
But Sorrow will come
To you in the end
And as sure as my words are pure
I praise the day that brings you pain
So don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
A man who slits throats
Has time on his hands
And I’m gonna get you
So don’t close your eyes
Don’t ever close your eyes
You think you’ve won
OH NO

Here‘s the music.

One of the first ever things I wrote on Plain Or Pan was about Morrissey‘s version of ‘Moon River’. Often since requested, I’ve decided to do my own bit of Reissue! Revalue! Repackage! by reproducing the original feature below…

Anyone with a reasonably good set of ears will know that ‘Vauxhall & I’ is by far Morrissey’s best solo work. Only just ahead of ‘Your Arsenal’, but much, much better than the over-rated ‘You Are The Quarry’ it is a classic of sorts. Released in 1994, the playing, the songwriting and the vocal delivery all come together on a near-perfect wee album. It kicks with the melancholic majesty of ‘Now My Heart Is Full’ and gets better as every new track comes in. The singles released from the album were all (in my head) number 1 smashes.

All (in reality) were not what could be called ‘chart botherers’. The first single ‘The More You Ignore Me’ went in at a respectable number 8. ‘Hold On To Your Friends’ did less well. Straight in at 47 before tumbling to 74 and off the radar forever. Which is where we come in. You see. On the b-side was Morrissey’s version of ‘Moon River’ All 9 minutes and 38 seconds of it. He croons! He swoons! He goes on a wee bit! But it’s magic. For a while, the inclusion of this track meant that ‘Hold On To Your Friends’ was a reasonably valuable Morrissey single to own. However, a quick trawl through eBay shows it is not quite as sought after as it once was. Nonetheless, your life is not complete until you’ve heard it. So here it is, in all it’s majestic glory.